Musicians Anonymous

A Twelve Tone program for musicians based on the popular Witness Protection and A.A. programs.  Members of Musicians Anonymous (or MA) are on a "First Name Basis," with last names used only on a "Need to Know" basis (such as, "Hey Sours,  I Need to Know what's that fourth chord you're doing in that song, and what do you need a fourth chord for anyway?"
Members meet weekly with the goal of purging themselves of all the musical energy trapped inside themselves.  The meetings move about to various undisclosed locations, for security reasons.

Typical MA members: John, Sam, Brad, and Toodie, from our CD (Nov. 2004).
We play old-time and bluegrass music on acoustic instruments.

Here's what's on the CD, available for $10.00 from us in person, or $12.00 post paid from this email.

1  When the Roses Bloom in Dixieland (3:26). Sam and Brad -vocals
2 Keep a Light in your Window Tonight (3:08) Brad-vocal
3 Bonaparte Crossing the Rhine (instr. 1:51)
4 Little Old Log Cabin in the Lane (3:12) John and Brad-vocals
5 I’m so Lonesome I could Cry (2:24) Brad-vocal
6 Corinna, Corinna (2:52) Sam and Brad–vocal
7  Old Spinning Wheel (2:32) Sam–vocal
8  Blues in The Bottle (3:09) Brad–vocal
9  Star of the County Down (1:50) Inst.
10 Hobo’s Lullaby (3:39)Brad–vocal
11  Westphalia Waltz (3:20) Inst.

Here's some important questions to consider, to know if you might become part of Musicians Anonymous:
Does your love of music interfere with your ability to give all your love and devotion to your day job?
Musician's Anonymous is waiting to help you.

Do you suspect there's something better to do than watch television every night?
MA can help you.

Did you think of naming your kid Melody, Lester, Earl, or Dylan?
Dylan is not a bluegrass name.

Do you sing along with your car radio?
You may not qualify.  Most of the music on the radio is trash.  But we're willing to try playing anything once.

Is there a place for banjo players?
Yes, even unto them.

Testimonial from a typical MA member:
I can quit playing music anytime I want to.  I quit playing dozens of times each MA meeting.  Some of those fiddle tunes I never even start.  Sometimes I quit in the middle of a solo, especially if I get lost.  MA is the best thing that ever happened to me.  When I get the urge to play music, I just call up  MA buddies on the phone and we get together and jam.  It's a lot better than keeping all that music bottled up inside me.

If you join MA, you must pledge:

1. To not strum too loudly when you don't know the chords.
2. No fistfights over whether a note is an A# or a Bb.
3. To give advance warning when you don't want to take your turn for a break, by vigorously shaking your head.
4. To call out the key before starting the song
5. To end the song on the same chord and about the same time as everyone else.

And these important Rules of Thumb (pick):

4. Don't clap, it only encourages us.
5. Don't die with the music still inside you.

You may be a musician if...

The callouses on your fingers are thick enough to handle hot dishes from the oven without a hot pad...

You tell your spouse you're going out to spend the evening playing music with some friends, and then actually do it.

You have too many instruments to carry all at once.

You can "rationally" explain to your spouse why you needed that third guitar.

It bothers you that "Waltzing Matilda" isn't a waltz.