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Welcome to the new Stream of Consciousness fiction blog.

A serial adventure in fiction by Brad Sondahl

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Chapter 33
Help I am trapped in the present!
by Phil Steen
    I'm not sure how I got here, but it seems like I can't get out of this current reality! I am typing this in on the computer.  My cat is meowing for tuna, but it's had plenty so I ignore it.  Family members murmur words in the background.  One of them comes over to look over my shoulder.  
    "Why are you writing that?" says Alice.  
    "It's what's happening," I say.  "I can't seem to think of anything else to write about."   
    "Well, it's not very interesting." she says.
    "I can't help that," I say.   "Maybe something else will happen that is more interesting, possibly even exciting."   
    "If it does, you can tell me about it in the morning," she says, and there she goes, off to bed.
    The cat wants in, so I let it in.  With 3 cats, and cool weather, I am becoming a cat's doorperson, or whatever they're called now besides doorman.

    Things do not look good.  Alice is in bed, and I'm still here typing.  A cat is at the feed bowl.  I'm waiting for a shot to ring out, or a dark and stormy night.  I check the forecast.  A warming trend for tomorrow, but I'm stuck here in the cool present, a cat meowing her choice for something better than dry cat food, myself hoping she doesn't jump in my lap with her slight obesity and overlong claws, which I would trim if Alice hadn't borrowed the nail clippers for something.  The cat is back and I heft it into my lap, accepting its purrs and sticky paws, and its head nudges requiring a bit of petting.
   
    My back is feeling a bit tired, a little twingy.  The cat doesn't care, but I do.  I'm thinking I will leave the computer, shut it down, and get ready for bed, then read until I can get the present out of my mind, and slip into the future, or the dreamworld, which ever happens first.  But its hard getting to the future, so I sit at the computer and watch itself shut down.

    Now I'm in bed, trying to shut down my brain.  I find the thing that makes me fall asleep is to be thinking two thoughts at once.  I read, paying attention to the book I'm reading.  Finally I can't pay attention to it anymore....

    I'm dreaming!  Hey, wow, how am I typing this while I'm asleep?  Oh, I'm sitting at a computer keyboard while I dream.  I'm dreaming I'm a homeless bum hanging out on a college campus.  I call a couple friends on my cell phone, and tell them there's going to be a homecoming parade, and that they should meet me at the parade.  I go into a big Roman style building, strongly decorated with red, white, and blue.  There are a couple Sikh guards protecting the place, but they look middle aged and pudgy, and so do I, so they let me pass.   I ask how to get to the parade, and they tell me they think it's on the 8th floor.  I wonder at this, but decide the back of the building is built into the hillside, so perhaps if I go up I'll come out at the level of the parade.  It does seem odd that the only way up is a ladder...  When I get to the second floor, it's like a warehouse full of light bulbs and stuff, with no apparent way to get up further.  This dream is getting depressing.

    Woo.  Morning is always better than dreams like that.  Or is it? Here I am, typing on the computer again.  I think I'll go away.

    There's a gap in my consciousness.  I only exist when I'm typing at the keyboard, which isn't much of an existence at all...  I type, therefore I am.
Typing. Without the past, I'm not sure what is news...  What do you know?   I don't know much.

Well folks, ever since Phil had the run in with poddy aliens   he's been off his game a bit.  We're going to give him about 10 days of rest cure, at which time he'll probably make it successfully to the future.  
  


Use this chart to find the next of the cartoons (first 47  entries) or the stories (starting with  1 A River Too Far 5 rows below week 8)
Cartoon:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4
Week5 
Week 6
Week 7
Week 8
Week 9
Week 10
Week 11
Week 12
Week 13
Week 14
Week 15
Week 16
Week 17
Week 18
Week 19
Week 20
Week 21
 Week 22
Week 23
Week 24
Week 25
Week 26
Week 27
Week 28
Week 29
Week 30
Week 31
Week 32
Week 33
Week 34
Week 35
Week 36
Week 37
Week 38
Week 39
Week 40
Week 41
Week 42
Week 43
Week 44
Week 45
Week 46
Week 47
(cartoon ends)
1. A River Too Far
2.The Reunion
3.The Daily Grind
4 The New Car and Treasure
5. The Big 
Bambootees
6. The old
Switcheroo
7. The Ravine Runner 8. The Fabulous
Folk Festival
9. Druid
Fluid
10. Goats of
Christmas Past
11. The Secret Six 12. The Great
White Hunters
13. The Old School
14
Lost in the City
15
Schlemiel
Possession

16
What's in
a name?
17
The Curse of
Bently Manor
18
Shortbottom Possessed
19
The Lost
Treasure
of Iraq
20
Phil Steen
for President!
21
Phil Steen
for Rehab
22
The Adventures
of Handiman
and Fiberwoman
23
Quantum
Uncertainty
revealed
24
Pirates of the Puget Sound
 25
Building a platform, plank by plank
26
The Quest
for meaning
27
Larry and
Phil to
The Rescue
28
Hurrah for
the Reds,
Whites, and
Blues
29
Phil
loses
his
mind
30
Earth
Strikes
Back
31
Harry
the
Potter
32
How I spent
my summer
vacation
33
Help
I am
trapped in
the Present
!
34
Help I am trapped
in the future
35
The
Nose of Death
36
Infectious
Laughter
37
Election
Update